The end is nigh

Well, poor old Saddam Hussein. He�s either dead or quickly on his way towards becoming that way. And his people are free, or at least, freer. The Rumsfeld Doctrine of move fast, pack light and kick lots�o�ass has replaced the Powell Doctrine of move slow, pack everything and kick ass up to a point. A deafening silence surrounds North Korea. Kim Jung Mentally Il has realized that this isn�t the same gang of appeasers he dealt with before. He absolutely knows that any military adventures on his part will end up with him hiding in a bunker listening to American Thunder being dropped on his head 24 hours a day.

Losers, political and otherwise, dot the landscape like so many destroyed pickup trucks on the outskirts of Baghdad. The National Review has a list posted with the offending articles, penned by the likes of Chris Matthews and Maureen Dowd and looking very much like fools. I actually heard Matthews whining to Don Imus about President Bush and Iraq. Matthews, a former Carter staffer, apparently sees everything having to do with the military through the prism of Vietnam. This quote is especially ugly and will no doubt be used as a hammer on his reputation for the rest of whatever is left of his career:

�This invasion of Iraq, if it goes off, will join the Bay of Pigs, Vietnam, Desert One, Beirut and Somalia in the history of military catastrophe.�

And guess what? The American people are remembering this and are not watching his show in droves. The Fox News Channel�s ratings during primetime are huge and MSNBC�s are in the dumper. Can say that In blame them. On a recent tour of New York City, four out of five bars surveyed had FNC on. The other was tuned to ESPN.

The Million Pound Shithammer

Back in 1987 when I was a pompous graduate student in Greensboro, North Carolina, I got into a beer fueled argument with my good friend Kevin Taffe. At the time, he was convinced that Ronald Reagan was going to topple the Berlin Wall and the man behind it, Mikhail Gorbachev, based on sheer force of personality alone. Now, in the interest of full disclosure, I came to the Ronaldus Magnus Fan Club late, not fully realizing his genius until the early 90s when the old Soviet Empire crumbled like a stinky French cheese.

I countered Kevin�s argument by saying something to the effect that Ted Turner was going to do more damage to the Soviet Union that Ronald Reagan ever could. My theory then was that Turner had just started overseas transmission of CNN to Europe and that the apparatchiks would see that the official line they were being fed daily in the Communist Party Press was an avalanche of dog shit and that their bosses were not only cruel, they were stupid as well. CNN, I opined, would change the way the middle managers see themselves and, subsequently, how they would view their country. It would hit the Eastern Bloc like a Million Pound Shit Hammer. I also shouted a prediction: that the Berlin Wall would fall in two years.

I was off by six months.

All that stated, Iran is next for the Shit Hammer treatment. It was no coincident that a pair of al Jazeera reporters got physically chased out of Basrah back to Kuwait by angry Iraqis who knew they�d been fucked by the Arab Propaganda machine.

Think about it; for more than a generation, the mullahs have run Iran like a feudal state and the young people are sick of it. They like American culture and want it now. Bet that some smart somebody, somewhere, creates an Islamic Mtv to capiliatize on this trend. Then starts the downward spiral. Smart money says that the mullahs� days are numbered anyway and they won�t make it intact more than another year. With an all but invisible push from us -- and our hideous youth culture -- the mullahs will be seeking asylum somewhere like Syria or Saudi Arabia.

Oil Drops

OPEC can kiss the days of $30 a barrel crude goodbye as the price in London fell to less than $25 today. Once the Iraqi oil fields start producing at pre-1991 levels, look for the price to hover around $20. Also bet that the economy, juiced by cheaper energy, will be roaring.

The big losers here: the left wing of Democratic Party that bet big on Iraq II thinking it would turn into Vietnam II. They predicted quagmire and got cheering Iraqis welcoming our troops and the prospect of $1.20 gas. When the economy comes barrelling back, they'll have nothing to run on except anger. That'll be good for 37% of the popular vote and Zero Electoral Votes.

Personally, I�m delighted. Nothing makes me happier that a bunch of hand-wringing lefties kicking their Birkenstocks off and bitching about How George Bush Lied to the American People about this War and How He Isn't really the President Anyway, I predict a freefall for candidates Howard Dean, Dennis Kucinich and John Kerry . Gooberhead John Edwards will do okay running as Bill Clinton Lite. Hillary Clinton comes out a big winner because voted for the war, then "hid under the sofa" (to quote Dick Morris).

And Mr. Bush rolls to a 50 state electoral landslide.

10 Apr 03 dpny